10 Things Golfers Say, Golf Cart Rentals Near Me, Golf Course Near Me
10 Things Golfers Say, Golf Cart Rentals Near Me, Golf Course Near Me
10 statements golfers love to hear
Golf is one of the most mentally straining activities ever undertaken voluntarily. It’s an emotional roller coaster with more ups and downs than Hermann Maier on a day out at a dry ski slope. Many of the things that happen to the average golfer while on course elicit similar sensations to being punched in the stomach by a Klitschko. Just once in a while though, a few well welcome words can lighten the mood considerably. Here we consider a selection of the short statements that can turn a golfer’s mood from despondency to something approaching chirpiness.
1. “That’s good”
You’ve rolled a birdie effort to within 18-inches of the cup and the way you’re feeling, you know it’s highly miss-able. Your opponent calmly strums his par putt in from five-feet out. He looks at your marker for a moment or two and you can actually feel the sweat trickling down your back. You start to move very slowly towards the marker with your ball in hand, arm outstretched. The speed of your movement and the bead on your forehead tells the story. Just as you’re about to bend down, the words come: “That’s good.” … “Thanks” you say calmly and then try to reason internally that you had it covered, even though you know there was about a 70% chance you would have whiffed it…. Oh the relief.
2. “You’re still in”
You’ve carved one so far right that it’s heading for a different postcode. There’s no point in watching the end of its flight as it’s destined for a point so far out of bounds that it doesn’t appear on modern maps. You’re rooting in your bag for a “provisional” when you’re playing partner halts you in your tracks. “You’re still in.” What?
After you had turned away your ball struck a lorry on a dual carriageway two fields over and rebounded towards the course. Halfway back, with energy fading, it was caught on a freak geyser eruption and propelled back within the bounds of the course. Well, you make your own luck.
3. “It’s non-counting”
You’ve fought round for four hours in the Saturday Medal, battling pouring rain and driving winds. You’d held your own until the conditions finally got the better of you over the last few holes and you’re now destined to get nothing for your heroic efforts, save 0.1 on your handicap. As you drag your soaking, ruined body into the locker room you catch a few words from the showers – “It’s non-counting.” Hallejujah and praise be to Old Tom Morris!
4. “You had a shot there”
You walk off the green having missed a four-footer for what you believed to be a half. When you announce the score on the next tee your opponent believes it to be one better in your favour. After a bit of investigative work the truth comes out about the previous hole, “You had a shot there.”
5. “I’ll pick you up”
You’re off for a full day’s golfing with friends. It’s going to be great – 36 holes at a top course and your significant other is away, giving you a completely free pass. The only problem is, how are you going to fully enjoy yourself without a few bevvies pre, between and post rounds? You’re considering bus routes, taxis even a very long walk and then the call comes in, “I’ll pick you up.” Yes, it truly is a beautiful life.
6. “Your honour”
When else are you going to hear these words unless you’re very high powered or you’ve done something a bit silly? There’s just something about your playing partner or opponent saying anything this deferential that gives you a warm glow.
7. “Here it is”
You’ve been trudging around in knee-high bund for 4 mins and 20 seconds and, feeling utterly deflated, you’re deciding whether to take the walk of shame back to the tee or to tell your partner to write those two most hateful letters down on your score card. Then, from the other side of a gorse bush you hear that most welcome announcement, “Here it is.” … “Hi, yes is that Dignitas? Yes, I just wanted to cancel, no let’s not get carried away, postpone my appointment.”
8. “I’ve picked up”
You reach your ball at the greenside and it’s in a distinctly minty situation on the back edge of a bunker, in a horribly sandy lie. You’re suffering palpitations at the prospect of the next shot and are considering putting away backwards just to avoid taking it on. Meanwhile your opponent is out of sight down a slope, possibly in a bunker himself. After sometime he emerges, ball in hand. “I’ve picked up – it’s your hole.” … “Oh bad luck.”
9. “It’s a free drop”
You’re under a small tree with no chance of getting a full shot at it. In fact, you’ll need to pull off a display of contortionism just to chip out sideways. But wait, what’s that stuck to the other side of the young trunk? Oh could it, yes could it just possibly be? A stake, oh man it’s a stake that I see, and that stake must mean that my drop will be free!
10. “The course is open”
For all the heartache and suffering that the game causes, most golfers are eternal optimists. They truly believe that their next game might be different; it could be the one. But with rain lashing down all through the night, surely the course will be closed; ‘I’m going to be denied my chance to post the round of my life.’ At 8am a tentative phone call goes into the pro shop… ‘Is it, I don’t suppose it’s?’ Yes, “the course is open.”
It’s fair to say that, while on the course, golfers speak a language that would be unfamiliar to pretty much everybody else on the planet; a language that can only be learned through years of toiling away on the fairways, trying to get a ridiculously small ball into an even smaller hole!
Some golfers talk the talk even when they aren’t walking the proverbial walk and most of the time; the golfing jargon that comes out of their mouths certainly isn’t 100% honest.
To clear things up a bit, we thought we’d knock up a little glossary of things golfers say and what they REALLY mean!
When your matchplay opponent holes a 10 footer for a half: “Well in.”
Translation = “Lucky git.”
After your playing partner takes three shots to escape from a bunker: “There’s no sand / too much sand in this bunker.”
Translation = “I have no idea how to hit bunker shots.”
When shaking hands on the first tee: Golfer 1 – “Play well mate.” Golfer 2 – “Yes, have a good game.”
Translation = Golfer 1 – “I hope you hack it around and run out of golf balls.” Golfer 2 – “And I you.”
When you partner misses a tap in for a half down the 18th: “Hard luck.”
Translation = “YESSSSSSSSSS!”
When you’re in the clubhouse explaining your most recent + 0.1: “I played well, I just didn’t score.”
Translation = “My par down the last was the first one of the day; I only hit two fairways, missed most of the greens and couldn’t hole a putt to save my life.”
When the “big hitter” who’s obsessed with how far he hits it gets outdriven for the 1st time in the round: “That came so far out of the heel I almost missed the ball!”
Translation: “How the hell did he just knock it past me?!”
When explaining your matchplay loss to the team captain: “He just couldn’t miss a putt.”
Translation = “He outplayed me all day, fully deserved the win and I can’t putt for toffee.”
After hitting an approach shot into the trees at the back of the green: “I got a massive flyer.”
Translation = “I picked the wrong club.”
When explaining yet another snap hook into the cabbage: “I just can’t hit this driver. The shaft is too whippy.”
Translation = “I just can’t hit a driver.”
After a 10 foot putt misses the whole by a mile: “How the hell does that putt break uphill?”
Translation = “I can’t read greens to save my life.”
While trying to help your matchplay opponent find their golf ball in the tall rough: “You’d have to stand on it to find it in this stuff.”
Translation = “I really don’t want you to find this golf ball…can’t I just have the hole?”
50 yards up the 1st fairway after teeing off with someone you only just met: “So what do you do for work then?”
Translation = “I couldn’t care less what you do for work but four hours is a long time not to talk to someone.”
After hitting the ball 50 yards short of the driveable par-4 in summer: “That gust of wind came out of nowhere!”
Translation = “Absolutely buttoned it, couldn’t hit it any better and after waiting for the green to clear for 10 minutes I need an excuse…quick!”
After hitting the ball 50 yards short of the driveable par-4 in winter: “I’d have got there with a bit of run in the summer; the fairways are so soggy!”
Translation = “Absolutely buttoned it, couldn’t hit it any better and after waiting for the green to clear for 10 minutes I need an excuse…quick!”
After pitching it 40 feet short of the hole with 1 foot of backspin: “I was really hurt by the spin on that one.”
Translation = “I GOT BACKSPIN! I have no idea how I did it but I GOT BACKSPIN!”
After slicing another one into the trees: “This is a drawer’s golf course.”
Translation = “I started that right and with my usual 40 yards of slice and there isn’t a golf course on earth I’d score well on today.”
On getting a plugged lie in a bunker: “I can’t believe it’s plugged…these new bunkers are such a joke!”
Translation = “Having hit my ball straight into a bunker from a great height, I was hoping to defy physics and get lucky with a perfect lie.”
On leaving an Eagle Putt just short: “Hit it for God’s sake!”
Translation = “I GOT A BIRDIE! I GOT A BIRDIE! This is going on my CV.”
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